In Contemplation of the Ending of the Year

A Dream Within A Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep–while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

The time has flown by this year in a flurry of unexpected changes. There have been many times, especially during the last half of the year, when I've wanted to scream, "Stop the world...I want to get off!" Change is always a bit dizzying for me. My equillibrium was challenged and tested, and much to my surprise I did not fall. I'm still standing. I may be holding on by my fingernails, but by God, I'm still standing.

The new year will continue to bring more changes. Our lease for our house is only until May, and while this place has kept us warm and same, it has much to be desired. I have a job working in retail, but I'm not really much of a sales person. So, I'm keeping my options open, and if something else comes along, I will grab it. I plan on starting some college classes in a couple of weeks. For now, it will be at the vocational college, taking some refresher courses in Microsoft Office applications, and then, hopefully in the summer I will start some more substantial courses for a bachelor's degree.

So much to look forward to! I'm nervous and excited, and yet I'm still mourning what happened to us just a few months ago. But I really need to look forward. Focusing on what has been lost is not productive and can only cause more pain. I love Cynthia's entry for today. Go over there and read it. It's time to say, "Good morning!" and go forward.