No Class

During the past few days, I've been going through that rite of passage that all parents of tweens and teens go through....the realization that I have no class. Apparently, I, as a mother, embarrass my children, simply by being around them. Now, as far as I can deduce in relation to the way my son feels, it has more to do with the simple fact that I am his mother than anything else. I guess mothers in general are simply not "cool". That is to say, his own mother lacks the "cool" factor. It's perfectly fine for his friend's mother to take a group of kids to the YMCA, but I don't need to come near the place. His father can help him pick out a new frame for his glasses, but I "don't know what boys like."

Now, as far as my daughter is concerned, it all comes down to the fact that I'm "more than twice her age" and I'm "completely out of the loop." I took her to the mall yesterday, but I was instructed not to come anywhere near any of the stores she likes because she and her friend wanted to shop alone. Well, that I can understand. There's only so much a mother is supposed to do for a 14 year old girl. I can give her money to spend, but I can't sit at the same table with her and her friends in the food court. I can buy her socks, but I can't buy her shirts because I moght buy the wrong thing and embarass her.

What I didn't know is that the no class thing has also extended to furniture. We moved here a couple of months ago, and we have discovered that we need to buy some new dressers for our bedrooms....especially E.'s bedroom. I thought she had gotten rid of a lot of her clothes before we moved, but last week when I went into her room (another offense, btw) to collect her dirty laundry, I discovered that her floor was almost entirely carpeted with her clothes. There were a few items in her hamper, but most of everything else was strewn around her room making it look like a department store after a hurricane.

I told her that we would shop for some new dressers, and left it at that. Today I was informed, however, that I have to let her pick out her own furniture because sher doesn't trust me to get something decent. She thinks that I will get something "white and ugly." Hmm. The thought hadn't occured to me, but since she mentioned it....

I'm being sarcastic about all this, really, but it surprises me that the time has come so soon when I must stay out of my kids' way. Where has the time gone? Have I stepped into some time machine, or has it really been 10 years since I held my infant son in my arms?

Part of me is proud of my children's independance and strength. In the past few months, they've had to leave comfortable and familiar surroundings and move to a new city. They've left behind lifelong friends and come to new schools and a new church. And they've done so well.

I guess I wasn't suspecting that the transition would also include what always happens when children grow up. They now have their own sense of style, their own comprehension of what makes their lives their own. I don't have control of that anymore.

Part of me is surprised, and yet sad. Part of me is proud, and yet offended that they think I'm not as good as I was before. But it's all a part of growing up. And I know that my mother felt the same way....she told me so today.

After all.....there is a time for everything.